I learned how to prune my rose bush yesterday. I remembered hearing that Valentine’s Day is the prime time to prune roses and I just so happened to think about it when I had a bit of time to actually do something about it. So I got out some gloves and rusty pruning shears. Oh, and youtube. I looked up a simple video on pruning and started putting the four steps to action.
First step: pull off all the leaves.
Second: cut out all the dead parts.
Third: cut away any branch that is rubbing against itself horizontally.
Lastly: cut the vertical branches at an angle so that the rain does not fall directly onto the buds.
Why on earth am I sharing these mundane details of my life, you might ask? Because as I pruned this rose bush, I was startled by the truth that it represented in my life. It’s been a difficult season in my marriage these last few weeks. Not bad. Not hopeless. But difficult. Jason and I have had many painful conversations, some that have stemmed from misunderstanding and miscommunication. Some that have been the result of our own selfishness and stubbornness. And some that have been because of differences in our personalities. Guys, I have an amazing husband and God has blessed me with a man who sticks by me and hears me out and loves me faithfully. But marriage is not easy.
In these uncomfortable conversations, that we made ourselves have, I believe that God was doing a bigger work than I ever suspected at the time. He was ripping out premature expectations and desires to make our hearts ready for His perfect timing. He was cutting out the dead parts in our hearts – the sin – and cutting away the rough and irritating parts that got in the way of our unity and harmony. He was pruning us, is pruning us, with His sharp shears, at the right angle, so that our harvest of love and righteousness will be great and abundant.
Jason bought this particular rose bush for me on our 14th Anniversary at the Antique Rose Emporium that we happened upon accidentally when we were out driving. We had three rose bushes beside our house, but this one is the only rose bush that survived the new construction of Addie’s room that following summer. It happens to be my favorite, though. It’s name is Lafter. At the time, we thought the name appropriate, as laughter has been an enduring part of our relationship.
As I finished pruning this last surviving rose bush yesterday, I was reminded of something that Jason has said to me over and over again, and that I, in turn, remind him. We are on the same team. We are different people, yes, but we are together, in covenant with each other. We are not enemies! But we have a choice. We have the choice to submit ourselves to the Gardener’s pruning shears and let Him do the work in our hearts that will lead to oneness with our spouse and obedience to Christ.
He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. John 15:2
How about you? Is your marriage in a season of pruning? Have you been through the pruning and come to see the fruit of that harvest of righteousness? Are you struggling to submit to the shears?
Father, I pray that our hearts would be open and surrendered to you. I pray that we would submit ourselves to your wisdom and your goodness and that you would cut out any sin or entanglement in our lives that would prevent a harvest of righteousness. Unify our marriages, Oh God! For your glory and our gladness. Thank you for the death, burial and resurrection of Christ, which makes it possible to redeem our brokenness! There is hope for our marriages in your name, Jesus! Amen.